Donna and Rick, my daughter and son in laws, were here today. Donna is Randy's oldest daughter (27) who was his marrow donor for his transplant just over 3 years ago. They have two children, Aidan and Shelby (6 and 4). Donna and Rick got married two summers ago - and then two Novembers ago (I know -- a lot of dates and math this late at night!) - he fell from a barn while working and broke his L1 and L2 vertebrae and is paralyzed from the chest down.
This is the first time I've seen them since the transplant, so I hadn't seen Rick since his accident.
I am trying hard tonight - to find the grateful. Donna saved Randy's life, hands down. And for that, I'm definitely grateful - and honestly, grateful isn't a big enough word. I watch her with him and listen to her as we share stories of kids, bedtimes, mealtimes, chores, regular stuff. And my heart breaks for her. For him. I thought of YOU guys so much during their visit -- really struggling and fighting tears for most of the time they were here.
They seem very happy. But still, my heart breaks for them.
He survived the fall. He is able to move and do wheelies in his wheelchair and play Wii and tie fishing lures and play cards and read books and scratch his arm. Everything else though, she does for him. And that's an awful lot for this young, beautiful woman, mother of two.
I am thankful he survived the fall. I am thankful she's finding the strength to walk the journey. I am thankful they are able to raise their children in a loving and healthy home. But still, my heart breaks.
So, y'all help me here. Can you be thankful and sad? Can your heart be grateful and broken? All at the same time?
Was last night's post God's way of preparing me for what I'd feel today?
I have to say...yes...you are human...you're heart breaks for all the things you know he will never be able to do...that they will not do together...that's the big elephant in the room...but as you said in a previous post...life happens...and sometimes it sucks! So this beautiful young woman...wow...sounds so strong...I'm sure she has had many cry sessions in the shower alone...but it sounds like she is moving on with her life...their life...doing all she can do to go on every day...probably has why me days...but what else is she suppose to do...and look what they have accomplished...together...together!! I do not begin to know they're struggles, they're incredible moments of triumph...but they've touched you...touched us through you, and probably do that to people everyday in their everyday life...so it's ok to feel sad...and thankful...look at what those children will learn from him...strength...love....devotion....so much more...from both of them...
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ReplyDeleteYes, you can feel both. It is appropriate to feel both. For lack of a better word, feed off of Donna's strength. Actually the strength of both of them. The entire family. If ever confronted with such a situation may we be so strong.
ReplyDeleteCorrection to above....your heart...first line
ReplyDeleteJohnel,
ReplyDeleteYour heart is as big as the ocean. We all get caught up in our lives - the little things and we are writing this blog to remember to be grateful. No question you are grateful to Donna for she kept Randy in your lives.
Donna is a very special woman, a strong woman. In the midst of tragedy she finds love and strength and laughter. Her life is full. Never easy I am sure but she has embraced her life. How lucky for you to be part of it - to see the kind of woman she has become and to know her husband and children and that they thrive.
Sometimes tragedy brings out other gifts that we would barely notice -
I never thought of it that wat Jodi...seeing other gifts that we barely notice...
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