Today I'm Thankful for...

Words on paper.

I don't say things like this often, because to put it frankly, I'm honored that you all show some interest in the fact that I'm working hard writing these books. Really honored. And I'd hate for you to think that I'm anything but happy doing it. Because I cannot even imagine a day without my world, my characters and my stories.

But I've been struggling lately. Writing the first story out was like cruising uncharted water. I'd written 2 full books before (and countless short stories and poems), but none of those had what I believe this world has. The magic to 'make it'. To one day be a true honest to God published novel. I couldn't wait to start revising and polishing it. I couldn't wait to share it with my friends, to find a critique group and rework it to perfection.

I'm on the seventh or eighth round of this now... I've lost count. Each have done significant improvements. On not only the manuscript, but also on me. I'm becoming a better writer through this trial and error.

But lately, it's been very tough to motivate myself. To go back into pages, paragraphs, sentences and words to tighten and expose the statue beneath the granite slab. Over and over and over. To read every. single. word. over and over. In just one paragraph. For like 5 hours. This is what it takes. And it's hard.

Then one of my critique partners told us she and her son would be moving. Literally today. Her son is severely allergic to the pollens of LIFE and can't breathe here. They're in Destan now. She bought us all journals as goodbye gifts/one year anniversary of starting our group... she's not leaving us... no, her whole family lives here, so she intends on being here for every single meeting. And I love her for that, because she means a TON to me.

I decided today, that this journal would be just that for me. Something personal, where I could write down the feelings I struggle to share. Because mostly, no one can understand, other than someone doing the exact same thing, how sometimes hope has trouble getting through the uncertainty.

I wrote in the journal this morning. I let it all out. I prayed through my words, and somewhere... right about the middle, I realized I loved them.

I love words on paper. I love being able to express emotion through them. For others. For you. I love seeing you laugh at a joke I've written. I love seeing tears when you recognize something you love that I've created has suddenly changed.

I love words on paper.

And I'm thankful that I remembered that today. My brain is still full of the twists and turns. I'm still struggling to answer plot questions, to tighten back on myself and leave what's most crucial. To keep my spirits high and write my story to the best of my ability. For me first.

Sorry this is so long... but, like I said... I love words on paper. ;)